I've thought a lot about what friends are. It's an elusive concept, I think. What does it mean? Who exactly are your friends? People who share the same interests? People you can joke around with? People who are somehow matched to you through some astrological, cosmic bullshit? Yes, I think, but there's more to it.

Friends are people who will put up with your shit. And not only that, they're people who's shit you're willing to put up with, too. I mean, c'mon, humanity is a race of eccentrics. We're all of us nuts. If I didn't put up with my friend's shit, how could we be friends? Sometimes my friends do things that makes me facepalm, or want to beat the shit out of them, but no, I put up with it. And when I do the same crap, they put up with me. And that's friendship, man. We get past it.

Friends are people you're willing to share your several gigabyte porn collection with. If you're not comfortable sharing your porn, well, I guess they're not your friend. I mean, how could a friend hold back his porn? That ain't right. If one of my friends asked for a particularly juicy picture or animated .gif, I'd give it to them without a second thought, because we're friends. And that's what friends do.

Those are my two main definitions of the word "friend." Personally, I've got people who are my best friends, who both these apply to, and people who I know and like and hang out with, but only the first applies. I guess they're all friends. But, because I'm an elitist asshole, I'm going to elevate some of them above the rest. Hell yeah.